Take your time, inhale & digest.

Life comes to a certain point where you get so tired of the things you do on a daily basis that you feel like quitting. At times you wonder what are you doing with your life because everything seems like a routine that there isn’t any meaning to it anymore. Maybe you’ve even felt like wanting to do absolutely nothing because that’s all that seems right to you at that moment.

Been there, done that. The trick is to keep breathing. And remind yourself why are you doing what you’re doing in the first place. There must be a reason behind it all. What made you choose this path and what do you want to get out of it, every person has goals and a mission. Work towards that. Anybody can come up with a million plans but it takes real effort and hard work to see them turn into achievements.

Find the fun in everything you do.

It makes things easier. I’ve always been a firm believer of loving what you do. If you do not like what you’re doing, how long can/will you last? Even if you do last, will you be happy? I think a person’s ultimate goal in life is to achieve happiness. Only then you will be able to achieve every other objective set out. Easier said than done, agreed. But you can do whatever you set your mind to.

I’ve been through some rough patches, nothing life threatening but they were heavy enough to pull my spirits down. And I won’t deny that I did allow those events to affect me, for a little while. Took me some time to find my motivation and determination back. Those setbacks took a lot out of me, but I gained much more out of them.

Right now, I’m doing everything I’ve planned months and years ago. I’ve got my goals lined up, some achieved, some in the process.

What’s most important is to know what you really want.

Then work from there, towards that. When I express this sort of motivation, I’m not just sharing it in hopes that others will benefit something out of it but also to remind myself – this is what I want, this is how I’m going to tackle it. Sometimes we forget, we lose our ways for a brief moment but what’s important is to get back on the right track within the shortest period possible.

Take the time to really enjoy yourself, like what I do. Just because you’ve started a new phase of life, does not mean you’ve got to give up what you used to be or how you once were. Have the best of both worlds, all it takes is patience and perseverance.

From my experience, the people around you can give you all the encouragement and comfort in the world but at the end of the day, it is up to you to really want to work for what you want. Nobody can give you the final, ultimate push to get things done but yourself.

Don’t forget to take the time to relax and smell the roses.

For a little while, I forgot how relaxation felt like. Then I told myself, you are who you choose to be. You are the only one who can decide what you want to feed your mind and soul.

What’s your perception?

When you find out that your ex is now dating someone new, your very first intuition will be to check that person out. Next will be to point all of his/her flaws out, wondering if she/he better than you. It is nothing to be ashamed of, it is human nature – I think we all do that in the beginning. We are competitive in nature, we have a little hard time trying to cope with the fact that the person you once loved/still love has moved on and found someone new. It is only normal if you want to make a few physical judgements to soothe yourself. There should however, be a fine line between competitiveness and ill feelings just because you are not fond of that person for no apparent reason.

If your partner or your ex had cheated on you, your very first sense will be to push the entire blame on the third party. After all, if he/she never came into the picture, things would still be perfect between you and your person. It may sound logical to you, but irrational. Feelings and commitment maybe, must have been long gone way before it could even happen. Some make it seem as though the third party appeared and placed a spell on him/her therefore such a thing took place. It requires two hands to clap, it is okay to be furious and upset – but it does not give you the excuse to do horrible things.

When the topic of prostitution arises, your first thought would be why some women would do such a thing to their body and self. Many may not have thought about it this way but most females who have to endure such a thing never had a choice. Many prostitution centres are run by drug rings or syndicates, they are usually connected. Do you think it is so simple for someone to just run away from something like that? They too, have fears. They fear for their lives, they fear for the financial status of their family members and children. Do you think that if given the opportunity, they wouldn’t want to swap jobs and become a janitor/clerk instead?

Talking about bribery, we conveniently place the blame on the government officers/enforcers. True, what they do is wrong but how did they have the chance to do so in the first place? They didn’t just stumble upon it or make it happen on their own. It’s because the people are offering bribe. If there were no offerer, will there be an acceptor? That sounded a whole lot like a topic in Business Law regarding offer and acceptance Which is of course, not related here. So yes, we always say the cops are the bad guys but the citizens and vehicle users need to stop providing them with the opportunity. Again, takes two hands to clap.

When you face rude drivers on the road, your immediate response would be to curse. Maybe they are in a hurry for an emergency like a woman they love is going into labour or their children need to be picked up from school or be taken to the clinic. However we seldom give others benefit of the doubt, we almost never try to justify their actions. When you get angry over something like this, you are the only one at loss. The other party feels nothing and is clueless about what your feelings are and really, keeping your calm on the road is actually better for your health.

It is always easier to make others look bad, to point their weaknesses out and judge without giving it another thought. It is also always much simpler to free ourselves from blame and wrong. Don’t be so quick to jump into conclusions, there’s more to most things than meets the eye.

In each of us.

In each of us is a little unhappiness. Sometimes it’s the bigger things like marriage, work, life.

Sometimes it could be the little things such as what we eat. You’d be surprised how much of effect something so petty can have on a person.

Whether big or small issues, they are one thing: a contributing factor.

At any given point of time, we are unhappy with at least one thing. But we have a choice in deciding whether we want to or not.

Sometimes you get unhappy about something that may seem serious to you but insignificant in the eyes of others.

Yet when you wake up the next morning, you ask yourself this question: what was I even upset about?

The thing is, you think it’s not that big of an issue because you think you’re the only one who is affected.

Truth is it involves the people around you, the world does not revolve around you alone. By being upset, you can cause several other people their happiness.

It’s like a cycle, it goes round and when it comes back to you, you ask yourself whether if it even mattered.

I think most of us here, we spend too much time worrying about things that might not happen in a million years and allow that to cause us discomfort.

When you fail to see the bigger picture, you miss out on being free and happy. Being in constant discontentment can be pretty burdening.

Let go a little, love and live.

Look at yourself, first and foremost.

It’s just funny how the universe works, how the human mind functions. We are always coming up with conclusions about others, usually negative, but we fail to see that maybe we’re just the same.

I always see people making unnecessary comments about other people and what tickles is that they did the exact same thing without even noticing it yet they get so critical when they see others doing so.

I think we should all measure ourselves before we do so for others. And the thing is, they don’t need other people doing the measuring for them to be honest.

What we should do is just live our lives and make sure we do good instead of always focusing on what others may/may not be doing badly. I don’t think it’s your say.

And then it hit me the other day.

I take things for granted all the time. I sometimes do not appreciate the gifts that I have been given in life. I have all that an ordinary person could ask for. I have a home, I have family & friends, I get things that I want most of the time. I don’t have many things to worry about. I don’t have much to be sad about.

But that’s the thing; I have too much. I’m so used to such comfortable living habits that what if it all goes away someday? I will find it difficult to cope. I don’t have much to envy and I have plenty that I can give away without feeling the pinch. I get to do the things I love, I get to have the things I like, I have people who love and care for me dearly.

But not everyone does. Not everyone has what I have. Some don’t even have half of what I have. And sometimes I beat myself up for it. I haven’t done things that are so great to deserve all this and they have not done things that are so wicked that they do not. If you believe in past lives and reincarnation, well that’s your belief. But I don’t. Neither do I believe in karma.

So what other explanation is there to this? I guess life just isn’t fair. Some have it while some don’t. And that’s the saddest part because don’t we all deserve a just shot at life? But I guess again, that there’s a reason why we are all not on par. Because then how do we divide all these jobs and rankings and that sort of things right?

Although that still doesn’t satisfy the questions I have in mind, I’m thinking there’s probably nothing I can do to change that. But I do wish that the rich and the great are nice and good people, while the poor and the less fortunate would stand a chance to change their lives for the better.

However from what I see the rich gets richer and vice versa.

We should learn to appreciate the things and the people that we have in our lives. Stop trying to compare yourselves to those better off than you, instead you should be doing so with the people who are less gifted than you are. That way, it keeps you grounded and you become more grateful of the luxuries that you have in life.

If you’re rich, don’t be one that looks down on others and think you’re all that. It can all disappear in a moment and you’d be left with nothing. But if you’re a good person who believes that all man are equal, then you’ll have that goodness in you till death and no one can take that away from you.

Sometimes I think I should take time off and live in an under-developed country or something for a year so that I can forever bear in mind that life is not all that easy for everyone and I should be very appreciative.

Empathy.

I think I lack empathy in me, with people who have been bad to me that is. I’m making it sound as though someone committed a crime or something, well it’s not that bad, but you get the gist, don’t you? At some point in life, you come across certain types of people who want nothing but to cause discomfort to you.

Forgive, but never forget. How true?

I can’t tell if I have completely exonerated those who have done me wrong. More than ever when I never knew who they were in the first place, and especially when I have caused no harm to them yet they choose to “attack” me.

Maybe I can push aside those incidents on the basis that people do make mistakes after all. Maybe I can say that I do not loathe them and I do not wish the worst upon them. But will I ever forget what they’ve done? Probably not.

You may be wondering, what so serious anyway?

Let’s put it this way: for instance, your best friend is someone you trust completely and you never for a second, thought he/she will ever betray your trust. However one day you find out that he/she has stolen money from you. Tell me you can forget about it completely and go back to being best friends like before. Tell me your perception towards that best friend of yours has not changed one bit.

Yeah, I thought so.

That’s what I’m trying to say here. It’s difficult to remove that stain, that drop of ink on the clean sheet of paper. Sure, you can start over, you can simply get a new sheet of paper. But that clean sheet of paper will always remind you of the one before, the one with the stain. Our memories are not computers, we do not have delete and empty recycle bin buttons.

So when I say I lack empathy when it comes to them, I think it’s better than having none at all.

I will never want bad things to happen to anyone, even those I am not fond of. But it is very challenging for me to be able to place a barrier or a wall after bad memories hoping they will never resurface ever again. I think that’s impossible.

I have no problem whatsoever putting myself in the shoes of complete strangers, I can try to feel and think what they feel and think and I have great compassion for those in need. However I can’t say the same for people whom I know have been unkind to me.

That’s something I’ve got to work on.

I should at least, try. I wouldn’t call it grudges, maybe you can call it trust issues. I have trust issues. It’s easy to say that people do change and sometimes, they change for the better. They learn from mistakes. But to ask for complete and absolute trust is a little too much I think.

Maybe a part of me does not want to forgive and forget. After all, what have I done to deserve such unkindness in the first place and to top it all, I did not respond with a single comeback. So no, I will try, but I will not do so with determination.

I’m human after all, I choose to see the best in people but not in people who have been awful with me for their personal satisfaction or because of their personal issues.

Looking back.

Take a look at your blog archive (if you have one) and think about how you feel reading all those posts you published. Do exultant ones outweigh gloomy ones? And if yes, is the disparity conspicuous? If no, maybe you’ve got some reflecting to do.

How many posts did you spend on antagonism and aggravation? I think the principle of having a blog is to serve as some sort of live remembrance so that we can walk down memory lane anytime we want and everything will be there.

But we have got to resolve shrewdly what we choose to embrace because in years to come, we just want to look back and see how we have made the most out of our lives, not how livid or morose we were all the time.

I do acquiesce that a blog should also serve as an avenue for us to pour our thoughts and feelings into. Conversely there are certain things that are better kept untold. In years to come, we won’t even be able to hark back at what we were furious about today or what made us sob yesterday.

What may seem noteworthy to you today may not necessarily look the same to you in future. What may appear to be immaterial today however, could point out quite a few things to you later on in life.

But the best part is, you get to choose.

You get to select who you want to be. You get to decide how you want others to see you as. You have the choice of whether to be someone you’d be smiling at when you reminisce or someone who will make you wonder or say “Who is that person? Was that me 5 years ago?”.

Your call.