What’s your perception?

When you find out that your ex is now dating someone new, your very first intuition will be to check that person out. Next will be to point all of his/her flaws out, wondering if she/he better than you. It is nothing to be ashamed of, it is human nature – I think we all do that in the beginning. We are competitive in nature, we have a little hard time trying to cope with the fact that the person you once loved/still love has moved on and found someone new. It is only normal if you want to make a few physical judgements to soothe yourself. There should however, be a fine line between competitiveness and ill feelings just because you are not fond of that person for no apparent reason.

If your partner or your ex had cheated on you, your very first sense will be to push the entire blame on the third party. After all, if he/she never came into the picture, things would still be perfect between you and your person. It may sound logical to you, but irrational. Feelings and commitment maybe, must have been long gone way before it could even happen. Some make it seem as though the third party appeared and placed a spell on him/her therefore such a thing took place. It requires two hands to clap, it is okay to be furious and upset – but it does not give you the excuse to do horrible things.

When the topic of prostitution arises, your first thought would be why some women would do such a thing to their body and self. Many may not have thought about it this way but most females who have to endure such a thing never had a choice. Many prostitution centres are run by drug rings or syndicates, they are usually connected. Do you think it is so simple for someone to just run away from something like that? They too, have fears. They fear for their lives, they fear for the financial status of their family members and children. Do you think that if given the opportunity, they wouldn’t want to swap jobs and become a janitor/clerk instead?

Talking about bribery, we conveniently place the blame on the government officers/enforcers. True, what they do is wrong but how did they have the chance to do so in the first place? They didn’t just stumble upon it or make it happen on their own. It’s because the people are offering bribe. If there were no offerer, will there be an acceptor? That sounded a whole lot like a topic in Business Law regarding offer and acceptance Which is of course, not related here. So yes, we always say the cops are the bad guys but the citizens and vehicle users need to stop providing them with the opportunity. Again, takes two hands to clap.

When you face rude drivers on the road, your immediate response would be to curse. Maybe they are in a hurry for an emergency like a woman they love is going into labour or their children need to be picked up from school or be taken to the clinic. However we seldom give others benefit of the doubt, we almost never try to justify their actions. When you get angry over something like this, you are the only one at loss. The other party feels nothing and is clueless about what your feelings are and really, keeping your calm on the road is actually better for your health.

It is always easier to make others look bad, to point their weaknesses out and judge without giving it another thought. It is also always much simpler to free ourselves from blame and wrong. Don’t be so quick to jump into conclusions, there’s more to most things than meets the eye.

Nobody made you king of anything.

One of my current favourite songs

All we need is a lot of love.

Photo-filled post! Another collection of Spocky photos

That’s the latest toy I got him, it’s so adorable! Sometimes I think to myself, this is all I need. I don’t need people, I don’t need the world. He’s all I need; he loves me unconditionally no matter what. And sometimes it does make you wonder, maybe all we really need is just a lot of love and everything else will be okay hmm?

One of his favourite toys

Spocky is a really happy kid. He smiles all the time and he’s playful every single minute of the day. The look on his face never fails to plant a smile on mine.  The atmosphere is lit up immediately with his presence regardless the time and place. I especially love how he greets and hops on me every single time he sees me, always the same excitement, always the same kind of love for me.

This is one of his Happy Meals!

The kind of cookies Spocky gets.

He gets extremely excited when he sees someone preparing treats in his bowl. He knows that he’s in for a special meal and he gobbles everything down at that very moment. It’s amazing that the kind of happiness I see in him, sends so much of warmth and joy to myself in the inside. I usually give him a treat like this about once a month, I also try to get the healthier kind of treats/cookies albeit having to pay a little more.

A little furball he is.

He loves to lick me, I have a strong feeling that’s his way of telling me that he loves me. I’m the only person he licks a lot. And although we’ve only been together less than a year, this bond we have – it’s so special. I can’t imagine life without him, the thought of not being able to see/hold him anymore someday hits me like a hurricane. Sometimes I get a little sad thinking about the time when he will have to leave. But I try not to; I try to make the most out of what we have.

That’s one of his favourite toys. He has more than a dozen of toys, yes he is pretty spoiled! He’s particularly adorable when he bites his toy and hops around the house. What’s fascinating is that when he gets a new toy, he immediately knows that it’s something for him and it’s meant to be a toy. How do dogs do that? I think another reason why he is such an active pup is because he has many toys. He’s always playing with one or another. The only time he lies down is when he needs to get some sleep. Keeping your pup active is what keeps them healthy!

I give him some milk/vanilla ice cream at least twice a month. If you can recall, he’s very fussy. When he was little he did not take a single sip of his puppy milk. A friend suggested fresh milk so I decided to try it out. As you can see, he loves it! I only feed him pet food to protect his health, coat, skin and well-being so at times I try to vary his food intake or treats so that he gets some flavours

Isn’t he just the cutest thing ever on Earth!

I just realised that Spocky looks the same in every photo on his park trips because he’s always naked and we always use the same red leash!

Oh we got him a toothbrush and some toothpaste just the other day, obviously for hygiene purposes. Funny thing is, his breath doesn’t stink, at all, from Day One. You think I’d let him lick me all the time if it does? I think it has a lot to do with the kind of food you feed your pet/s. And it’s a good thing his teeth grew so well too!

A woman’s pain.

PMS. Most of us hear people using that term all the time and we all know it’s related to a woman’s menstrual cycle. Some of us however, may not know what it stands for PMS = Premenstrual syndrome. So it is incorrect to use the term once a woman’s monthly menstrual cycle has started (usually the case).

I think it is unfair for people (men mostly) to take PMS lightly or see it as a joke because sometimes it is due to hormonal changes and how do you control that? Like a zit, or voice-crack. Neither am I saying women should get special treatment due to that. When it comes to emotions, we can place control over it. So it does not mean just because we are having PMS, we have the right to be angry and agitated with whoever we want to. It’s not an excuse.

I think most women have PMS, some maybe more than others, some more severe than others. You may think you don’t, but getting easily annoyed over every little thing a week or two before your cycle is due to start could be PMS. The exact cause of PMS has not been identified. Changes in brain hormone levels may play a role, but this has not been proven. Women with premenstrual syndrome may also respond differently to these hormones.

However menstrual cramps are not one of the PMS symptoms. Menstrual cramp is on its own, also known as dysmenorrhea scientifically. Like PMS, some women have it worse than others. What most of us have is referred to as primary dysmenorrhea, which occurs most often in young women who have just begun their menstrual cycles and often becomes less severe when a woman reaches her mid-twenties or after she has given birth. After giving birth is a long way to go

Too bad I’m one of those who came with menstrual cramps Some girls I know don’t get any at all! I’m not in my mid-twenties yet but I should consider myself lucky because in the past year or two, my cramps have gotten less severe. When I first got my period, the cramps were almost unbearable. During schooling years, I simply skipped school for a day or two. Can’t be doing that now though.

Menstrual cramps are thought to be related to a hormone-like, naturally occurring substance called prostaglandin, which causes the uterus to contract; which explains the pain. The feeling is like a clogged tap with lots of water placing pressure at the end of the tap.

There are several things that can help a woman cope with cramps. As for myself, I have a cup of peppermint tea everyday – a few days before my cycle is about to start. My dates are usually pretty accurate, some women I know do not get that. Some even miss a month or two sometimes. Also, exercise will really help. I don’t rely on painkillers or panadols, I only take panadols when I sense myself falling sick so I usually just bear the pain as well as I can.

Apparently a heating pad helps too, I have not tried that. A heating pad meaning a pad (filled with rice usually) used to heat certain parts of your body to manage the pain. Not that kind of pad… You can also use a hot water bottle, my mum has one! Also – not the kind of water bottles you drink from. These days, they even have electric blankets/pads and bed warmers!

So ladies, do control yourselves whether it is PMS or not, and do try out different techniques to make yourselves feel better during your menstrual cycle and see which one works best for you!

Sources: here, here, and here.

Tears in Heaven.

Probably the saddest song ever in the history of music. This song was written out of grief and pain; Eric Clapton lost his son in 1991 – when his son was only 4 years old. It was an accident which occurred at an apartment in New York. Do Google it.

It’s really sad when someone so precious and dear to you is taken away out of the blue, so suddenly, and there’s no way back. Today could be the last day for some people – you will never know when your time is up. Do appreciate what you have, do appreciate life.

Story of a boy and his one-eyed mother.

Someone sent me this story via a forwarded email chain a very long time ago. I suddenly thought of it so I fetched it from the Net. This is how the story goes:

My mother had only one eye, I hated her, she was such an embarrassment. My mom ran a small shop at a flea market. She collected little weeds and such to sell… anything for the money we needed, she cooked for students & teachers to support the family, she was such an embarrassment.

There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me?! I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school one of my classmates said,

“EEEE, your mom has only one eye!”

I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. So I confronted her that day and said,

” If you’re only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don’t you just die?!!!”

My mother remained silent. I didn’t even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted out of her house. I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think that I had said what I’d wanted to say all this time.

Maybe it was because my mom hadn’t punished me, but I didn’t think that I had hurt her feelings very badly. That night, I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me. I took a look at her, and then turned away. Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of her one eye. So I told myself that I would grow up and become successful, because I hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty.

Then I studied really hard. I left my mother and came to Seoul and studied, and got accepted in the Seoul University with all the confidence I had. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too. Now I’m living happily as a successful man. I like it here because it’s a place that doesn’t remind me of my mom.

This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when someone unexpected came to see me.

It was my mother, still with her one eye. It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me.  My little girl ran away, scared of my mom’s eye. And I asked her,

“Who are you? I don’t know you!!!” as if I tried to make that real.

I screamed at her “How dare you come to my house and scare my daughter! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!”

And to this, my mother quietly answered, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,” and she disappeared.

Thank goodness, she doesn’t recognize me. I was quite relieved. I told myself that I wasn’t going to care, or think about this for the rest of my life.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity. My neighbours said that my mother had died. I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

My son…
I think my life has been long enough now.
And I won’t visit Seoul anymore, but would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come visit me once in a while? I miss you so much.
And I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion.
But I decided not to go to the school, for you. I’m sorry that I only have one eye,
and I was an embarrassment for you.
You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident,
and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with only one eye…
so I gave you mine. I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me,
in my place, with that eye. I was never upset at you for anything you did.
The couple times that you were angry with me,
I thought to myself,

“it’s because he loves me.”

I miss the times when you were still young around me.

I miss you so much. I love you.

You mean the world to me.

With my love to you..

Your mother

I do not know how true this story is, if someone who had really gone through that wrote it. But this story teaches us so many things in so many ways. For instance, how could you ever hate or have ill feelings towards your parents? Because they want nothing but the best for you and I know that given the chance, any doting parent would’ve done the same as the mother in the story above.

It also teaches us that people with disabilities have feelings too, they too can contribute to the world. They are not a nuisance or a burden. The mother had only one eye, but she was capable of raising her son single-handedly and she brought food home for her son.

Also, many people who are born in a perfectly fine condition do not appreciate it. Some rant about how life sucks but what about those who can’t speak? How do they rant? They are forced to suppress their feelings and thoughts without having anyone at all to listen to them. Some complain about the kind of shitty music we have these days, what about those who are deaf? What would they give just to be able to listen, regardless good or bad music or even the annoying noise pollution cars/construction sites produce.

The story sounded a lot like the one Dad told me. It’s about a girl who constantly complained about how she doesn’t have enough pairs of shoes until the day she met another girl without feet.

Imagine people who were born mentally-challenged, those born without a leg or a hand, those born without the ability to see. What they would not give to have your life. Yet here we are, always complaining about this and that, every little thing we are not happy about. If you are reading this, remember that your life is so much more better than half of the world population, maybe even more than that.

Strangers, again.

Came across this really good video on YouTube.

If you’re currently in a relationship, what stage do you think you are in? Do you believe that a stage could last and not escalate into the next one till the end? Every love story starts off passionate and fiery. Every relationship makes a person skip a heartbeat in the beginning. That is to show us that there is something special going on with someone special.

Things will eventually turn into normalcy. That, I agree. You can’t have butterflies in your stomach forever. However when things have started to mellow down, it doesn’t mean the relationship is definitely going downhill. Sometimes we get used to the company of one another that we no longer feel the necessity to watch our every move or word to impress the other person.

Being comfortable isn’t necessarily bad, it’s when we can truly be ourselves. But it depends on what you do with that comfort.

It’s true; I think my relationship has without doubt reached its comfort zone and at times, I’ll admit maybe we do take each other for granted. And that’s alright, as long as we are still reminded of who we are and who the person we fell in love with is. Some require more trying than others but I would say it’s not impossible.

Don’t you think it’s sad that something so beautiful can change into something awful as portrayed in the video?

This is the trailer, because I want to share this song with you but it’s played only in the trailer:

And here’s the original song by Kina Grannis:

I love the lyrics. It is really sad though.

You once whispered words to me
Wondering if anybody loved each other like we do

I’m waiting for you to finally say you’re here and here to stay
But darling, if you know that it’s through
You can’t keep doing what you do
If it’s time to let go of you